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16-06-2011, 11:21 PM | #181 |
عضـو مُـبـدع
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I'm going through the roughest time of my life... It's weird when you think things can't get worse in your life, but they are again, again, & again
I don't think I can have anymore pain... Nothing can cause me more pain, unless it's something really huge like a losing a dear person....Otherwise I feel so bad to the point I feel it's difficult to feel any worse... It's hard to find something that will truly hurt or effect me anymore than what I already feel... I'm not exaggeration, that's how I really feel Theres stories I used to hear about things that have/do happens to people of the type I never thought for a second could happen to me in my lifetime, but ironically some shockingly have lay I keep on falling harder and harder to the point I laugh to myself about the first few falls I THOUGHT were rough.... I think theres no room even for comparison to what I was calling a rough fall no too long ago...and what is reoccurring recently BUT... I will will say in Arabic: الحمد لله على كل حال It is life even if I feel the mass majority of the time I feel like I'm a timed bomb ready to explode in any second with a lot of mood swings here there along with the intense depressive feeling to the point I have thought why should I live!!.. I don't feel I even deserve to breath... I know that's wrong to think that way, so please don't lecture me about how wrong it is to think in such a way... I know already To add to it, we have family visiting staying in our house... One with me in my room... I can't breath or , get anytime alone, so difficult to find an area in my home that's calm without hearing distractions or being followed... I don't want anyone to feel anythings wrong either in the time they are visity A lot of suppressing feelings, silents, and acting that all is just fine/perfect... Need to make sure everyone's having the best and most pleasant possible visit in our house for these 2 1/2 weeks So no everything is far from working out for me... I don't log in often because even though I'm not a new member I feel like a total outsider and out of place since about the last hummm 4 months after a few posts & topics here and there.. It's basically you and one other member who realize I haven't been around. I do browse through sometimes without logging in sometimes... Logging in is another story Anyway, FIRST, I've said TOO MUCH... Second, I'm sick with allergies I guess from dust in the air, strange because I rarely get sick it's mainly just my usual long term health issues ONLY.. Third, I've had a serious lack of sleep for days... Forth, I will very soon probably be interrupted losing this quite peaceful atmosphere ALONE in my room which leads to the want to exit here and take the advantage to truly rest and relax PEACEFULLY... maybe sleep, but I will be happy if I can just relax... I haven't had this much time alone anywhere in the house without annoying nose for a while... I wonder why the house seems oddly quite |
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17-06-2011, 04:52 AM | #182 |
مراقب سابق
...tomorrow is a better day
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miss. hpoe
don't be so hard on yourself in our life time , we must FALL in order for us to learn how to pick ourselves up again Honestly , i always try to "motivate" myself with such words to be positive and "Believe me" i know how annoying to have a guest living in your room it is so disturbing especially if you don't like them so much ? you mentioned something about health issues . are you alright if you don't wanna talk about it , i compley understsnd and please don't feel like an outsider we are all here together like brothers and sisters |
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08-07-2011, 05:59 AM | #187 | |
عضـو مُـبـدع
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اقتباس:
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08-07-2011, 06:08 AM | #188 |
عضـو مُـبـدع
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Anyway,...I feel 35% better since Tuesday later after my session with my therapist... I refused to return home and stayed out side for ""ME"" time.. I returned later at night even though my appointment was much earlier.....,
I don't feel secure/steady yet though just better... Feel like I'm safe and can easily go back.. I don't want to get happy about that 35%, because lay when I get happy about anything good it soon fades away really quick Just hope it wont reverse BY THE WAY, I like the pictures you've been adding...I was silently paying attention... I would just pop in the forum silently and leave..., but I realized them though... Like some more than others... I LOVE life quotes... I used to spend a lot of time reading them online before |
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08-07-2011, 08:03 AM | #189 |
مراقب سابق
...tomorrow is a better day
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good morning miss. hope
it's nice to see you around i can only say . may Allah be with you and make happiness the theme of your life A'meen i will help you by the only thing i can do . i will always pray for you may i ask you ? do you go to school ----> university . i'm in k.s.u here in Riyadh ? and do you have a hobby or somethimg like that i'm embarrassed to say it but i watch some anime episodes in my dark days , when i was really sick i used to watch some to pass the time |
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08-07-2011, 10:04 PM | #190 | |
عضـو مُـبـدع
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اقتباس:
Thank you Sultan I feel you are a true friend and kind hearted person
Don't worry about the animes... Why the embarrassment.. Nothing will shock me in my world so you can say whatever you wish without thinking twice about it.. Seriously I mean it.. I am a different type of person.. I don't get shocked or judge... We are all different and have our own world.... My brother is going to turn 22 and he loves Japanese anime... He waits until he can download the latest episodes in Japan right after their release after they are translated into English... I don't know whether his friends know about that... In my dark days I pretty much stay in bed hardly eat... OR have something related to Psychology, gathering pictures mostly that express my mood (a mix), and mmm this forum..., but probably Psych. is the winner.. It accumulates a lot of my brain and the way I think and live my life... You can't separate me from it I am done with univ. for about 5 months now... I have put down one job already right before I was about to officially start it... The second job is coming up soon in September.. I passed their interview with a percentage of 87% as the second one on their list...., but now because my days are very difficult I worry how will I function and be productive... Thinking to cancel it too.. My job isn't on things, but on people so it's critical to be functional.. Mistakes at least for me wont be tolerated even if others don't make a big thing about it... In my nature I like to do the best I can in what I like...., feeling I may not be able to live up to my personal standards really bothers me ... Not being as good as I would want to be in my field because I just freshly graduated..That's ok Though when the reason is because I feel I think clearly and focus, etc... That's another story My hobby or something I like is almost strictly all about Psychology whether it's a books or internet or me applying things I know, or if possible voluntary work or any help to other when I see the chance or just on forums because helping gives me a different type of happiness and I have been through a variety of things in my life and I know how hard it can get..I know how much I feel I want support sure that there's others that feel the same...As they say: حب لاخيك ما تحبه لنفسك Anyway, After all the Psychology that the top consuming thing to my energy thought everything... there come the rest...V V V After that in order is hunger of gathering information about whatever crosses my mind for hours, gathering pictures when I have so many already, life quotes... About the life quotes, I have been subscribed to this news letter for quite a while thats all about inspiring and motivating you in many important areas (inner self, career, life, hope,...etc)... Everyday I get a quote about something... They are really good quotes too ... They also send inspirational movies or a notification about a new book... I rarely find something that doesn't catch my eye You may feel like I'm copying you because as you will realize we are similar with the like to pictures and quotes.. I am not copying you though :) It's just a similarity.. Do you like to modify pictures? How were you really sick if you don't mind me asking? What are you studying? I feel like it's something related to a lot of math.. maybe wrong guess I am sorry I'm talking too much |
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08-07-2011, 11:44 PM | #191 | ||||
مراقب سابق
...tomorrow is a better day
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اقتباس:
miss. hope , don't say anything like that it's always nice talking to a "friend" like you اقتباس:
mmmm no , not really but i like writing on pictures i mean i always search for some good and meaningful quotes then i write these quotes on pictures like this one اقتباس:
no i don't mind at all i was pretty much scared to death from doing any thing even eating or any simple thing i never leave my house for days and not even for the mosque and that was more hard for me as a boy and i drop out 2 semesters الحمد لله على كل حال but اقتباس:
:) i'm afraid it is a worng guess i'm studying English language in Teacher's college and next semester will be my last one en sha Allah congratulations on your job ? and what do you mean by "my job is on people" do you mean a teacher |
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09-07-2011, 02:51 AM | #192 |
عضـو مُـبـدع
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Hummm English well... Don't focus too much on my writing mistakes...lol
I have already caught a lot of mistakes of my own, grammatically speaking.. Either things that should have been worded differently... OR I am forgetting to write "DON'T" in a few sentences which changes the meaning of them I just woke up when I wrote what I wrote, and I barely looked over what I wrote, so I'm not going to think much about it... It's not an assignment or official thing where I would need to take special care... Forgive me, but I need to go eat something for the first time today since humm 6 or 7 AM.. I don't even feel like eating ANYTHING, but I need to in order to take medicine I need... I thought of just taking it anyway without food, but the type of medicine isn't exactly a friend of my very sensitive stomach these days... I don't have something lighter on the stomach though... I ran out of options of safe, non-sub??????ion (don't know why it puts questions marks instead..wont right it, non- addictive, and strong enough as well... Have a serious issue with what strength of medicine will work for me due to past drug abuse unfortunay... Never thought it would cause such future issues in such a way I still think ALL my physical symptoms are ALL mental waiting for it just all return to how it was before... Guess what! The waiting has got me no where.. Have four things to think about every time I think of taking any meds or eating so I don't make any of these worse or at least stabilize them (Blood pressure, cholesterol, very sensitive stomach, diabetics and MORE restriction for something called fibroids unless I want more pain ) Too much for my crowded brain... I'm still YOUNG shouldn't have to worry so much.. :(.. Easier to keep my mouth shut seriously... I hate food now so much I hate hate hate it rarely care for something special I will return to comment on what you have wrote... I will leave my room for the first time since the last time I ate... Hopefully, no fights will accrue , and I can peacefully find something to eat then I will be back... unless I run into complications... Don't have any interest in arguing or fighting with anyone PEACE I meant to make my post simple, but I realize I said much more then I intended |
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09-07-2011, 04:38 AM | #193 |
روح الشمال
بداية جديدة
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صباح النور والسرور عليك اخي سلطان لك وقفات لا تنسى ولا تحصى معي والله اعلم بها اخي واتمنى
ان تضع توقيعك هنا لانه يهمني توقيعك اخي الفاضل :- وقفات شكر وعرفان لمن لهم فضل علي من بعد الله في منتدى نفساني :) |
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09-07-2011, 04:55 AM | #194 |
مراقب سابق
...tomorrow is a better day
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miss. hope
i will always pray for you may Allah cures you the question marks are because of this sign (-) because our web site is programed to do this automaticlly in order to prevent some members from writing their Emails . because the email is in english :) so don't be bothered by that you should eat healthy food and make a system for eating because anything you eat will reflect on your health i know that you already know this but , i'm trying to encourage you anyway , i will be waiting for your comments :) |
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09-07-2011, 05:45 AM | #195 | |
مراقب سابق
...tomorrow is a better day
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اقتباس:
شكرا لك , رديت على الموضوع هناك |
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الذين يشاهدون محتوى الموضوع الآن : 1 ( الأعضاء 0 والزوار 1) | |
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